"Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah." ~ Adele
I know this song is about a lost lover, but lately every song I hear makes me think of the baby I lost. I was listening to Adele yesterday and heard this one, and it rang particularly true to me. The first line sounds kind of harsh, but really the 'nevermind' part is more for myself. I have spent the last 7 months angry and wishing to go back in time. At this point, I feel that I need to move forward. So in saying 'nevermind' I'm telling myself, "Nevermind all that anger, sadness, and regret .... move forward." I will find another. Someone just like the sweet baby that I lost. Someone I will love just as much. Of course, a mother wishes nothing but the best for her child. I'm currently reading the book, "Heaven is for Real," and in that book a young boy who has a near death experience meets his big sister in Heaven who 'died in his mommy's tummy.' When he tells his mom about her, she has the opportunity that so many of us wish we had, which is to ask what she looked like, what her name was .... What I would give for someone to see my daughter in heaven and be able to ask them these questions ... or to tell her that I know she is safe and I want her to be happy and beautiful wherever she is.
I do find myself, though, in times of desperation begging her not to forget me. Please don't forget the mother who carried you for those few short weeks and loved you every minute. Who, upon seeing your tiny heartbeat, felt the biggest joy you could ever imagine. Who, upon losing you, felt a piece of her die away. I will always, always remember you... please don't forget me.
And of course, the obvious ... in Love, sometimes things last. Oh, how I wish it would have lasted. But sometimes it hurts instead, and in this case, the pain is unimaginable .... But the pain exists because Love exists, and that is the most important thing.
