Okay, so I know this blog is supposed to be about my journey through fertility challenges and pregnancy; however, a lot of what I discuss on this blog has to do with Mindfulness. Throughout my journey and challenges, I began to read a lot about Mindfulness as a practice for easing stress, simplifying life, recognizing the mind-body connection, and healing one's self through mindful thinking and awareness.
I try to practice mindfulness in every aspect of my life and sometimes it is more difficult than others. But I think the most important place to take a mindful approach is when dealing with others. We've all seen the quote that says, "Be Kind; Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I try to live by this. Of course, we all have our moments, but I witnessed something today while grabbing dinner at Panera Bread that really made me want to shout this quote from the rooftops.
I am standing in line behind a middle aged, Caucasian man who is placing his order with the young girl behind the counter. I notice that he is speaking to her in a very loud and very condescending way. The only word I can use to describe him based on the way he was treating her is "bully." When he was finished placing his order, I moved up in line and proceeded to place mine. I then stood near him as we both waited for our to-go orders to be filled. As they called his number, he became aggressive with the young man helping him who handed him his food and began berating the poor girl again who had apparently entered his order incorrectly. He said loudly (too loudly for the restaurant atmosphere), "I don't think she knows what she is doing."
I wanted so badly to tell him that the way he treated her and his assumption that she didn't know what she was doing led to a self-fulfilling prophecy of her getting his order wrong. Did he stop to think that the way he spoke to her may have made her so on-edge and nervous that she was unable to concentrate on entering the order correctly? She entered mine perfectly fine after I spoke with her in a calm and considerate tone. As I stood behind him, listening to him berate the staff, who for young people, reacted professionally and courteously might I add, I wanted to tell him that "Perhaps if we stop antagonizing the staff, they will be able to straighten the order out and we can be on our way." It bothered me that this bully would speak to these young people this way who had done nothing but make an honest mistake. Had the bullying gone any further, I probably would have stood up for them and spoken up to the man. Fortunately for all of his, he stopped speaking and resorted to stomping and sighing around, pitching a fit like a 5 year old child would if someone took away his birthday.
I left the restaurant giving the girl an encouraging *wink* and thanking her again for her help. As I got in my car still mulling over this grown man's behavior, it HIT me. "Be Kind; Everyone is fighting a hard battle." Although, I would have liked to thump this man over the head with my soft, warm baguette for acting ridiculously, I have to be mindful and ask myself.... "I wonder what his battle is that makes him behave this way." This is difficult to do. But it is the mindful way. I will, of course, never have an answer ... but it does help to think of him from this perspective and offer him compassion instead of the knuckle-sandwich I was considering. Maybe he is just a bully, but someone or something made him that way. So I'll end with this .... my attempt at mindfulness when someone just really ticks me off .... an Old Southern expression that says so much by saying so little .... Bless His Heart.
