The Final Count ....

After a long wait we finally heard back on our PGD results! :) 

So the egg retrieval resulted in 8 eggs.  7 of those fertilized.  Those 7 embryos were sent off for genetic testing and **DRUMROLL** 6, SIX, six of them were normal!!! :D

This is fantastic news.  This means that all 6 of those will be frozen to be later thawed and transferred. 

Our plan is to transfer 2.  If this results in one we will be elated!  If it results in two, we will be ecstatic!  If it results in three, we will be excited (and terrified) but EXCITED!!


From here on out, we will be keeping the date of our transfer and things relatively secret.  We want to simulate the experience a couple gets to have when they get pregnant (normally) for the first time and get to enjoy the experience of being the only 2 people in the world who know for a time. 

Of course, there is the logical part that we want to keep it on the down-low until we know everything is ok, but mostly we just want to be pregnant like a normal couple, and I can't wait to get to have that secret and carry it with me everyday.  If you don't hear from me for awhile just know that whatever happens with this cycle, Casey and I are experiencing it together and that we are ok.  If it works, we will spend time dreaming about what our babies will look like, picking out names, planning the nursery.  If it doesn't work, we will be encouraging each other, reminding each other to be hopeful because we will have 4 more embryos to try again, and growing our love as a couple.  Thank goodness for this experience that has taught us to do that! 

I also want to send a shout-out to a couple of my friends who are also going through their IVF cycles right now.  I love you all and pray everyday that these experiences make us stronger women, make us love our husbands even more, and give us more and more reasons to love our children and cherish them when we finally hold them in our arms!  (((hugs))) to both of you! 

Just Another Manic Monday .....

Well, it's Monday .... again.  Still playing the waiting game.  It seems like lately everything happening is just testing my patience.  Mondays seem like they were put on this earth just for that purpose.  I've been coming down with 'something' running a low grade fever and just sick enough to feel like crap but not sick enough to stay home and be sick.  Anywho, this morning I awoke from my Nyquil induced coma at what felt like 4:30 (thanks a lot Daylight Savings Time). 

Speaking of Daylight Savings Time (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_saving_time)  ... What the hell were these people thinking?!  If you really stop and dwell on this commonality, it is quite disturbing how arbitrary time is ... it also speaks to the argument, "Hell! Why don't we just do away with clocks and work with the Sun like the Cave People used to do?! ... Life would be so much easier and we probably would not be obese (See: http://www.elsevier.com/about/press-releases/research-and-journals/partial-sleep-deprivation-linked-to-obesity).  Anywho, I digress.

I stumble into my kitchen to retrieve my first cup of coffee to counteract the Nyquil : / only to find that my coffeepot, which has been on for 7 minutes, has about one millimeter of brown liquid in the bottom and is only steaming and making God awful noises.  To which I shout, "Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as Casey walked through the door.  It is never a good thing when a nice steaming cup of coffee on your kitchen counter on Monday morning is replaced by this:

After employing screwdrivers to dissect my beloved coffeepot and applying 6 lbs of PSI through an air compresser, Casey finally got it working again! Huzzah!  I love a man who will bust out power tools at 6:00 in the morning to ensure that I get my necessary daily intake of caffeine.  This is true love.  Happy Monday, everyone!    Enjoy!

The Waiting Game

Well, it's been almost two weeks since the egg retrieval.  I am happy to report that my digestive system has finally come back to life with the help of fiber smoothies! Thank God for the Magic Bullet Casey gave me for Valentine's Day.  :)

We've definitely given a knew definition to the idea of keeping busy during the wait for the PGD results.  The Sunday following the retrieval, my sister came to town and stayed for a whole week!!! That was the most fun and probably, looking back, the best thing that could have happened during that week.  I had no time to dwell on how bad I felt or to worry about results.  That girl kept me busy!! :D

Right before she left, Casey decided it was time to start remodeling the bedroom, so out came our carpet!! I'm not gonna lie, I was kinda dismayed at the timing, but I am glad he decided to do it because now I have a project on my hands.  I'm going for a Bohemian theme in there, so the space has really opened up a door to creativity for me which is probably what I need most right now.

Sunday night, I was finally able to start working out again.  Huge step and THANK GOD!!!!  Jogging, yoga, and Jillian Michaels are my best friends, and I have missed them since this whole process began.  I think I may be getting my sanity back and am slowly but surely getting my body back... Hopefully in preparation for being home to Twins very soon. :)  *prayers please*

So now we continue to wait.  Impatient? Yes.  Anxious? Yes.  Excited? Yes.  Nervous?  Absolutely!!!  Thanks for waiting with me and for reading.

xo,
Ash 

I'm on a Bloat!

Holy Laxative Batman!  2 days after ERD, and I am so happy to have all that behind us.  However,  No One or No Thing prepared me for the amount of bloating that would occur amongst my innards as a result of this procedure.  My God, I may need to ask if they retrieved 7 eggs or placed 7 toddlers inside my abdomen on Tuesday!!  There are a couple of things going on in my poor, exhausted torso at the moment, I think:

1.  Anesthesia - apparently being under general anesthesia makes you constipated.  Well let me just say that this statement is probably the biggest understatement I have heard in my entire lifetime and should really be described is that your Digestive System simply ceases to exist in any form or fashion.  It literally feels like my stomach is the collection pot at Lakewood Church and parishioners are tithing large chunks of food instead of money.  Jesus H. Christ!  I seriously look like I am 6 months pregnant with elephant triplets.

2.  OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) - I'm not sure if I actually have this or maybe a mild form of it that occurs during IVF cycles as a result of the potent medications that are stimulating the ovaries, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph the cramping, bloating, and feeling like someone kicked me right in the Hoo-Ha! (Thanks for that analogy, Samira!).  It hurts to sit.  It hurts to walk.  It hurts to turn.  It hurts to pee.

3.  Lethal Combination - All of the Poop, Gas, and Ovary Fluid that is collecting inside of me is roiling together like a hurricane at a Jimmy Buffett concert and not in a good way (Man, I'd kill for a Margarita ... but I digress).  I do not feel like I will ever pass gas again, and boy would I love to.  I swear ... whenever I get the urge, the people around me better watch out because I am letting it rip come Hell or High Water paying no mind to my surroundings.  It boils down to this.  There has been a Fart growing inside of me for the past 3 days that has become an entity all its own.  It probably  has teeth and fingernails.  When this thing decides to make it's debut ... far be it for me to deny it's entrance into the world.  And when the 4 separate laxatives I took yesterday, Prune smoothies, and Flax I have been eating for the past 2 days decide to do their job and trigger the bowels..... Whoa-ho, Buddy you better watch out because me giving birth to these IVF triplets I so hope for will be a romantic stroll on the beach compared to 15 lb turd I am cooking up.  :)

Hope you are reading this over lunch.  TMI?!  I think not.  As I said before, I want this blog to be read as a realistic experience of an IVF cycle... I know that those of you who have been through it are ROTFL right now .... and those of you who haven't think I am exaggerating ... My hope is that those of you who are about to are prepared and see the humor in it .... You are not alone.

Thanks for reading!

Egg Retrieval Day

Okay, it has been awhile since my last post ... Sorry about that but we've been so busy with getting ready from the Egg Retrieval and recovering from it that I haven't had a chance to log on.  Anywho, Egg Retrieval Day was exciting and interesting, and I'm super excited to give you a run-down of it! :D

Egg Retrieval is considered a minor surgical procedure as you are under general anesthesia, so I could not eat or drink anything after midnight the night before.  If you know me, this is a big deal because I absolutely MUST have two things in the morning:

1.  Coffee
2.  Meat

But I guess my adrenaline was pumping and my nerves were heightened enough that the not eating thing didn't bother me too much.  I donned by brand new pj's I bought especially for ERD (Egg Retrieval Day), slipped on some flip flops and we were on our way to Piney Point Surgical Center.

Once we got there everyone took wonderful care of us.  You can tell these people do this daily because they didn't miss a beat, and I never felt uncomfortable or unsure.  I'm pretty sure that Houston Fertility Institute trains their employees to call you "Sweetie" and "Honey" because they all do it, and it makes you feel like your Momma is the one taking care of you.  I love it! :)

When it was our turn, they put me and Casey in our Pre-Op room.  A tiny little room with our own little comfy chair and private bathroom.  I changed into my hospital gown, little bootie shoes, and lunch lady bonnet (my favorite part... so stylish!) and waited for them to come prep me.  It didn't seem like very long at all that they had my IV in and had wrapped a warm sheet around my shoulders to keep me warm on my short walk to the OR.  Only one minor stumbling block when the sweet girl hit a valve in my right hand and had to switch to my left... simple solution:  head between knees for a few seconds.  :)

I'm not gonna lie the OR was a little intimidating as I had never had surgery before ... all the metal and big lights and stuff were kinda scary.  The sweet Nurse had me lie down on this tiny little bed.  She covered me up with two sheets and kept me covered the entire time I was awake so that I wouldn't be cold or feel exposed (ahem ... if you know what I mean).  She then put my thighs in these brace looking things and strapped them down.  Ummmm, awkward.

That is when the anesthesiologist a scary looking - Asian lady in a North Face vest came and put some happy juice into my IV.  As she was juicing me up, the Embryologist introduced himself and let me tell you you've never met someone until you've met them while laying spread eagle on a tiny table in a cold, metal room.  Right then the oxygen mask covers my mouth and next thing I know I wake up to someone yelling my name.  Why is she yelling?!

I lift up my blanket and see that I am wearing my own clothes, sports bra and all.  This doesn't strike me as strange right away ... it was oddly comforting ... but later I did wonder who exactly put my clothes on and a mental image of my unconscious self being dressed like an over-sized drugged up doll is seared into my brain.  I still don't know who put my clothes on me or if I provided them with any legitimate assistance but I may inquire about this one day ... tehe. 

It seemed like right away Casey was there whisking me away in a wheel chair to go home.  The day is pretty hazy but went surprisingly well.  I was so pleased with the treatment and care by the people at Piney Point.  We happily found out the next day that they retrieved 8 count 'em 8 EGGS .... and that 7 of them FERTILIZED!! :D  How exciting!  Now our septuplets are being subjected to several weeks of Genetic Testing, so we are pretty much done for the time being.  Can't wait to find out what the genetic testing shows.  Prayers for 7 healthy, viable embryos are appreciated! :D

Who run the world??

It is absolutely mystifying as to how things happen in this world.  This song ....  totally and completely embodies the Strength of Women that I am always harping on.  2 years ago, after our first miscarriage .... this song came out.  It was around this time that I had begun working out and exercising as a form of stress relief.  My workout routine and music were two things that got me through that very tough time.  This song especially.  I immediately latched onto it when I heard it because it spoke right to the heart of what I was feeling at the time. 

The line, "Strong enough to bear the children/And get back to business".... this one really got me.  It kind of became my mantra for a time.  When I would hear this it would make me feel pride at what I had gone through and had been strong enough to just return to work and everyday life and Survive with a relatively happy face. 

What is absolutely insane is that, this morning, I sit here watching Beyonce's HBO documentary in which she reveals that she suffered a miscarriage two years before her daughter was born.  She reveals that this song "Who Run the World" was one she performed on the Billboard Awards while she was pregnant with that first child ... And no one knew. She lost that baby shortly after.   Of course, I had no idea, but I find it so crazy that that song means something to her with regard to having children/miscarriages/etc.  I know most people listen to this song and hear the foul language, etc and think ... Hmm just a song. 

But the beat of it, the passion the dancers dance with, and the strength of the lyrics capture the raw, passionate, violent heart of a woman.  On the inside we appear gentle, pretty, sweet, demure but on the inside we are vicious fighters, slashing and battling our way through the melee of this World.  We Suffer and come out with scars, but we are Super Human and our scars heal into a tough outer skin that cannot be penetrated except for by the secret kryptonite that not many know ... and that is Love.

I truly feel that Suffering is one of the highest necessities in order to know what is Human.  Before Suffering, we are weak, hyper-sensitive, easily offended.  One would think that suffering would intensify this sensitivity, but I have learned that Suffering is the ONLY thing that can give you reprieve from being easily offended.  Once you have suffered and seen yourself come through, shining and Lovely, then and only then do you have that outer layer that allows the superficial insults of the world to roll off your  back. 

I am so grateful for what I have been through.  For what I have endured.  For what I have learned and for the growth I have seen in myself.  I Love more fully now.  I recognize almost immediately the suffering in others and I am able to put my hand on them, embrace them in a way that I couldn't before.  I am so hopeful that this IVF cycle will work.  But I KNOW beyond the Shadow of a Doubt that I am already a Mother.  That I have held children within me, and that I am placed on this earth to be a Mother.  Whether I am a Mother to my own children that I have carried and given birth to, doesn't matter.  And this has been the greatest lesson of all.  In this world, we have to care for each other, and now I know the Secret.  And that is that I am a Mother to this world as all Women are.  We can kiss each other's wounds, hold each other and be a shoulder to cry on.  If we allow ourselves to just be open, we can give of ourselves to all other People as we would to our Children.  And that is my goal.  To go into the World each day giving of the Love that I now know I have inside me. 

Thank you to the other Women in my life who I feel have shared themselves, their Creativity, their Love and their Compassionate Hearts.  How blessed we are to be female.  Who Run the World?          

IVF Injection Days 6 & 7 ... This egg factory is tired :)

This week has been the crazy week from Hell.  :)  Work has been insane and I've been running around like a hen in a tornado trying not to lay the same egg twice (no pun intended!).  The last two injection days have been fast and furious, and I finally realized it was the medication making me so sleepy.  The last couple of days, the minute my head hits the pillow I am out like a light and sleeping like the dead until about 4am. 

I am pleasantly surprised that the medications have not affected my mood.  But I am starting to feel like I have to huge water balloons in my tummy that are on the verge of bursting!  In the mornings, I find myself tippy-toeing around the house because it actually hurts to walk on my feet.

It's kind of like someone sharpened the top ends of my femurs into little daggers so that everytime I take a step, the little daggers jam themselves up into my ovaries .... kind of like a weird twist on the old "walkin' on egg shells" saying.

Speaking of eggs ... according to Patricia, the nurse, this morning ... I have three eggs on my right side that are about ready to pop.  This is ok because last night I started my second injectionable medication, Citrotide, which prevents me from ovulating.  This way, they can keep administering the medicines so that the other eggs catch up with these 3 monsters that are no doubt, the culprits of the sharpened dagger femurs.  :)

Then early next week we should be on track to take the Ovidrel injection which will cause me to ovulate.  You know those video montages where you see fireworks exploding, volcanos erupting, geysers spewing water into the air, and all kinds of other natural phenomena that represent the forceful explosion of something?  Well, yeah, that's pretty much what it feels like inside the body once Ovidrel takes effect.  Not really looking forward to that.  But at least this time I won't be terrified that I'm becoming paralyzed at 3 am and end up telling Bella (the dog) to "Wake up Daddy and tell him Mommy is dying."

Anywho, hopefully tonight we will have the opportunity to pick back up with the video diary.  Thanks for reading! :)