Who run the world??

It is absolutely mystifying as to how things happen in this world.  This song ....  totally and completely embodies the Strength of Women that I am always harping on.  2 years ago, after our first miscarriage .... this song came out.  It was around this time that I had begun working out and exercising as a form of stress relief.  My workout routine and music were two things that got me through that very tough time.  This song especially.  I immediately latched onto it when I heard it because it spoke right to the heart of what I was feeling at the time. 

The line, "Strong enough to bear the children/And get back to business".... this one really got me.  It kind of became my mantra for a time.  When I would hear this it would make me feel pride at what I had gone through and had been strong enough to just return to work and everyday life and Survive with a relatively happy face. 

What is absolutely insane is that, this morning, I sit here watching Beyonce's HBO documentary in which she reveals that she suffered a miscarriage two years before her daughter was born.  She reveals that this song "Who Run the World" was one she performed on the Billboard Awards while she was pregnant with that first child ... And no one knew. She lost that baby shortly after.   Of course, I had no idea, but I find it so crazy that that song means something to her with regard to having children/miscarriages/etc.  I know most people listen to this song and hear the foul language, etc and think ... Hmm just a song. 

But the beat of it, the passion the dancers dance with, and the strength of the lyrics capture the raw, passionate, violent heart of a woman.  On the inside we appear gentle, pretty, sweet, demure but on the inside we are vicious fighters, slashing and battling our way through the melee of this World.  We Suffer and come out with scars, but we are Super Human and our scars heal into a tough outer skin that cannot be penetrated except for by the secret kryptonite that not many know ... and that is Love.

I truly feel that Suffering is one of the highest necessities in order to know what is Human.  Before Suffering, we are weak, hyper-sensitive, easily offended.  One would think that suffering would intensify this sensitivity, but I have learned that Suffering is the ONLY thing that can give you reprieve from being easily offended.  Once you have suffered and seen yourself come through, shining and Lovely, then and only then do you have that outer layer that allows the superficial insults of the world to roll off your  back. 

I am so grateful for what I have been through.  For what I have endured.  For what I have learned and for the growth I have seen in myself.  I Love more fully now.  I recognize almost immediately the suffering in others and I am able to put my hand on them, embrace them in a way that I couldn't before.  I am so hopeful that this IVF cycle will work.  But I KNOW beyond the Shadow of a Doubt that I am already a Mother.  That I have held children within me, and that I am placed on this earth to be a Mother.  Whether I am a Mother to my own children that I have carried and given birth to, doesn't matter.  And this has been the greatest lesson of all.  In this world, we have to care for each other, and now I know the Secret.  And that is that I am a Mother to this world as all Women are.  We can kiss each other's wounds, hold each other and be a shoulder to cry on.  If we allow ourselves to just be open, we can give of ourselves to all other People as we would to our Children.  And that is my goal.  To go into the World each day giving of the Love that I now know I have inside me. 

Thank you to the other Women in my life who I feel have shared themselves, their Creativity, their Love and their Compassionate Hearts.  How blessed we are to be female.  Who Run the World?